i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
