Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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