cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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