so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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