so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
