don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
