I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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