Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize