Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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