i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
