Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize