no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
