Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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