All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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