this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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