Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Even my vagina gasped.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
