there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
