Moan for me like Helen Keller
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
