The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
