Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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