please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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