I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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