I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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