Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
