rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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