she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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