with your own penis?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize