did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
two words...techno handjob
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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