I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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