At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
