Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
