some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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