Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
