we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
