I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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