Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
