Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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