im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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