I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we have pet lesbian snakes
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize