Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
