fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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