can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
