Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
