yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
