I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
