so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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