Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
