evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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