I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
