If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
