My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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