Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
