Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I looked at my own cervix.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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