Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My pussy is not your playground.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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