did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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