my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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