Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
