Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
