if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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