U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
